Week 22- Tool Box

The last couple of weeks there was a lot of discussion about the tools for expanding and the “Tool Box.” I know these tools can really help me and I wanted to find a way to begin carrying my tool box with me. So I put my tools on note cards.

My tool box gets it’s own dedicated stack. The top card is entitled “TOOL BOX” with a picture of a hand-drawn tool box on it. The other cards in the stack are in no particular order. I have the tool on the white side and the way they help me listed on the lined side.

Anger – Energy to change

Fear – Energy, Concentration, Focus

Unworthiness – Keeps us on track

Guilt – Validates good, know what to do, spiritual compass is working

Hurt feelings – Remind us how much we care

I am going to keep these close and read them daily to remind me of the power of my feelings and how I can use them to help propel myself towards my dharma. I love taking the pieces of this course that really speak to me and finding ways to incorporate them into my daily life. This is one of the many gems of this journey.

Week 21- Guilt

An experience that left me feeling guilty this week made me realize that I am giving other people permission to have power over me when I should be giving myself permission to put my needs first. I have to be the best version of me before I can be the best for others. Guilt is just a drain of energy and resources and I have no place for it. I now choose to fill that space with love for my present and future self to better serve me and those around me.

I am excited about using energy that used to drain me in a more positive way to empower me. I am learning so much about how I have been working against myself. I am constantly retraining my brain and letting go of the old blueprint to make room for my future self.

Week 20 – Looking Within

This week I decided to observe more about me. I pondered why I no longer felt in touch with or the importance of the exercises. And I stumbled upon an answer…

Although my DMP, service card and POA card all speak to “things” I want to achieve and want to “have” and “experience,” they are lacking my purpose. It needs to be added. In order to add it, though, I must first figure out what it is.

I have always loved to write, although it is something I seldom do these days. I am going to use this next week to focus on my “sits” and take time to write every day to focus on finding my purpose and gifts. If I can bring these into my awareness, I can focus more on bringing the best of me out to the world. The journey continues…

Week 19- Overwhelmed

This week I felt overwhelmed. The physical and mental clutter surrounding me got to be too much. I worked on the physical clutter, to help me focus. I fell behind on my exercises this week and my mastermind partner asked me why. I’m not quite sure, as of now. This is an important question I will consider and address as I move forward in this journey. This week feels like a bit of a setback, but it must be for a reason. It is all part of MY journey, after all.

Week 18- Movies

I watched both movies this week. I really liked Finding Joe because it explained a little about Joseph Campbell and how relevant his work really is. What spoke to me most about this movie was a part when they were talking about “finding your bliss.” There was a lady that said your “bliss” is what always made you different from others.

As I pondered what made me different, I tried to meditate on it. As I was scrolling through the movies to find I Am, I noticed another movie titled Sensitive. I ended up watching both of these. The movie Sensitive is based on a book called The Highly Sensitive Person. I learned about this through the movie and then started the book and realize that I am a highly sensitive person, along with an estimated 20% of the population- human and animal. This sets me apart from many. My sensitivities help to define me and make me who I am.

I am grateful for the movies and the answers this week. Looking forward to more as the journey continues…

Week 17HJ

I have been missing more of my daily tasks for the course this week. I definitely notice a difference from when I get them all done and when I miss many. I am less motivated to change and default to the old blueprint and feel stuck.

I am not giving up. I want to change. I am focusing on gratitude to help me change.

I have done my reading today. I have kept up with all of the webinars. I have done a blog post each week. I will do better today than yesterday and will continue to grow. I have a call with my amazing mastermind partner each week. The journey continues…

Week 17 – Permission

This week I was able to give myself permission. I gave myself permission to be happy. I gave myself permission to be where I am. I gave myself permission to go to bed extra early one night when I was extremely overtired. These are just a few of the things I gave myself permission to do.

The old “me” would have made me feel guilty for these things. As I move forward through the Master Key Experience, I continue to see positive changes. I am finding more kindness and grace in the world. I see others being more kind and I am being more kind to others. I am also being more kind to myself.

I used to hold myself to such a high standard that I would beat myself up for not doing things perfectly. Thankfully, that is in the past. I see things in a different light now and I give myself permission to be me. I am grateful for the lessons of week 17 and I am grateful for the positive changes I see in myself since I began this course. I remain excited to see where this journey will lead me!

Week 16- SMART Goal Achieved!!

The date for my first SMART Goal was 1-15-20. I had it on my movie poster and have been looking at it daily for quite some time. I have been reading about it in my DMP for many weeks. My goal was to begin a weekly yoga class by 1-15-20. I didn’t pick January 15 for any specific reason, but it is the day I picked.

On January 6, I joined a gym that has many options for yoga classes. I knew this would help me reach my goal, and I figured that I would have plenty of time to squeeze in my first class before January 15. I was rather intimidated to go, because I had never been to a yoga class before. This is a big part of why I put off going for years! I knew I could benefit from the stretching and breathing, but my fear was bigger than my desire to succeed.

Lo and behold, January 14 came and I was looking at my schedule for the next day. It was packed. I thought there was not possible way I could make it to a yoga class at the times they were offered. I didn’t want to feel guilty about not reaching this goal, and it might have some effect on me reaching my other SMART goals (that are MUCH BIGGER). So, I figured I could just change the date. It was just a random day that I picked to begin with, so I decided to change my date to 1-25-20. Surely I could start my weekly yoga classes by then.

On the morning of January 15, I felt no guilt. I knew I now had 10 more days to reach my goal. As the morning went on, my noon appointment got cancelled. Something inside me was just nagging at me to look at the yoga schedule. There was a 12:10 class and it was 11:35. I had time to make it. I had this total feeling of urgency that I needed to go. So I did.

I had an old yoga mat, so I grabbed it, changed clothes and decided that I was going to make my dreams a reality. I was anxious as I entered the class and announced to the five people who had placed their mats in the back row that this was my first class. They were all very kind and welcomed me and joked that if they could do it, I could, too. A few minutes later, the teacher, who was filling in for that session, came in and introduced herself and asked each of our names. After giving her my name, I shared that this was my first class. She said “My goal for you is to leave here feeling better than you came in.” Another student said we were all in for a treat with this teacher and I was lucky to have her for my first class.

I felt overwhelming kindness and peace as the class continued. I felt like the universe was in full alignment to help me reach my goals, even when I was in total doubt. I felt amazing when I left the class. All of the breathing and stretching put me in a better place and I felt like I was in control of my future. The fact that I changed my dates and still met my original goal speaks volumes to me. If I continue to do the work, I will reach all of my goals on time. My faith has grown exponentially through this experience and I’m more excited than ever to continue my journey.

Week 15 – Growth

My faith in the process continues to grow. Things around my house that have bothered me for years are getting updates and improvements, I have been exercising more this week- even with bad weather and I have been eating healthier. And I know there is a connection to all of this and the way I think.

I am grateful for all of this growth and change, but I know I can still do better. I have a problem getting my blog posted on time, so I will challenge myself to do better with this for week 16. I have also missed a few reads and sits, so I will also challenge myself to improve on this for week 16.

I am loving this journey. I can see growth from the world within and I’m excited to continue on this journey.

Week 14- Mully

One of our assignments this week was to choose a movie to watch from the provided list. I chose Mully. This is a movie I had never seen before and never even heard of, but I found it easily on Amazon Prime, so I picked it.

I was blown away by the faith of Charles Mully in this movie. First, it was his faith in himself and later it became his faith in God. It was incredible to see all the children he was able to help because of his unwavering faith. I was talking to my mastermind partner about this, and she reminded me of week 2 when we learned that we all have precisely the same amount of faith. Where we put out faith is what can differ.

It was interesting to watch as Charles Mully would succeed at something and then take on something else. He finally felt “called” by God on a different path and his plan changed drastically, but he followed it. He had to help the orphans living in the slums of Kenya. He brought them to his home, until there wasn’t any more room. Then, they moved to the land that he and his wife had bought to build a home and retire on, and he and the children built a community there. They were even able to build their own microclimate by finding a well he had visions of, planting trees, building greenhouses and growing their own produce as food for themselves with enough left to sell and generate income. It was interesting to see how he would change his plans as a new problem would arise, but he never gave up on his goal of helping the children.

This movie reiterated that faith and burning desire can take you down a rocky, winding path, but the end result is even greater than the original dream.

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